Extending beauty toward yourself

I am a big fan of fat girl blogs. I’ve stated this before. But I have to admit, my reason for reading fat girl blogs has definitely evolved. At one time I was drawn to them because I was eager to discover where they found their clothes. It’s no surprise that plus size clothing is difficult to come by.

Either it’s made for 80 year old ladies.
Or heifers that enjoy polo shirts and beige capris.
Shapeless.
Cheap.
Funky.

So if I spot a big girl that is looking cute, I will pay attention.

I’m a regular peruser of tumblr sites, youtube channels and blogs that feature big girl fashion. But, along the way, I stumbled onto something called the Fat Acceptance movement. Now, I’m not gonna break it down for you because it’s complicated. You’ll have to read about it yourself. And I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I’m not quite ready to burn my Spanx and show my knees. But on the course of this journey, I’ve learned about myself.

I am way more accepting of other people and their fatness than my own.

After looking at images of plus size women and finding them beautiful in their own way, I realized that if I considered them beautiful just the way they are…then why don’t I do the same for myself? It has nothing to do with sex, since my husband was getting a little worried that I might finally go full-on butch. I had to assure him that it wasn’t about that at all. It was about finding beauty in other people, and extending it toward myself.

I’d think, well her stomach is way bigger than mine, but she still looks good. Oh, she has big arms but that sleeveless dress looks beautiful on her. Awww, she has alot of cellulite on her thighs but she is rockin’ that short skirt.

And I felt like I’ve spent years hating my body/trying to cover it up/trying to change it/lamenting over how it used to look before having six chil’rens. Instead of appreciating the temple God’s given me. Loving the body my husband loves. The arms my children love.

It’s like this crazy, convoluted, trippy, Alice-down-the-rabbit-hole type of thinking. But it’s freeing. And it feels good.

So, I’m a fan of Keena of Buttahlove. We’ve got totally different styles but I dig her afrocentricity. Imagine my surprise when she posted a pic of herself in the exact dress I tried on a couple of weeks ago. My boy Cyan was in the dressing room with me and he was like, “Wow, Mom. Your butt looks really big in that dress.”

And there was like, no way I was going to wear it out in public. Not even with leggings or tights because I felt it hugged my curves too much and…I just would have felt nekkid in it. Of course, I didn’t buy it.

But not Keena. She rocked the dress. And you know what, she looks damn good in it, too. You may or may not agree with me, but seriously?

Werrrrk it.

You can also see Keena in this video The Fat Body (In)visible
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Freestyling

Freestyling

Extending beauty toward yourself

The one where I talk about how much stuff I have

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There are 8 comments

  1. Monique

    Great post! Learning to love your body is definitely hard at first, but when you do it’s amazing. It’s not about wearing the skimpiest things, but it’s about wearing whatever you want without the fear of people judging you. Love the body you are in because it’s beautiful!!

  2. Lisa

    P.S. I may not be ready to show my knees, but I definitely want to set my Spanx on fire!

  3. cindylu

    I’ve read a lot about FA. I was a little skeptical of it at first (the whole science and public health and doctors are WRONG attitude grates me) because I only seemed to be reading about it from the perspective of white women. But then I found some FA advocates who are women of color, or even Chicanas, and it changed my thinking.

    As for fashion, I think some of the best dressed women on the internet are not the skinny twigs, but women like Gabby Fresh and Fatshionable. They seem to know their bodies much better, probably from years of examining it at every angle. They now what looks best on them and how to wear it. The average cookie cutter, or even successful, thin/average style blogger out there doesn’t have that same sense.

  4. Pearmama

    I totally agree, Cindy. It takes a while to grow into your skin, for both skinny girls and fat girls alike.

    I love Gabi and J from Fatshionable too!!

  5. Keena

    I am just now seeing this and OMG! I’m so flattered. I’m slightly bottom heavy and believe me, that dress was short in the back and the back of my thighs are dark, but I DIDN’T GIVE A DAMN!!!

    It’s truly baby steps in reprogramming your mind about your body. It may take your children a while to get used to your “new look”, but i believe that your sons and daughters will continue to admire and respect you cuz it always feels good to see your mother feel positively good about her God given body. Remember, you’re setting the example of body love for your daughters. I can go on and on about this, but next time you’re at Ross or wherever and you see a flyy dress like so, GET IT! Let it be your confident booster/freakum dress!! You got my support, hunty!

    Much love.

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