One thing about me is I’m always going to get my feelings hurt because I’m sensitive as shit and this world ain’t the place for sensitive people.
I have dark days. Because of my connection to the spiritual world, the reality of this place oftentimes drags me. On those days I contemplate a reality of nothing beyond the physical world we are living in, I feel myself sink into a dark place. A dark dark place.
Food has no flavor
air is stale
my words are short
I have little to no energy
and sleep is a welcome escape.
On those days I feel sad, fearful. I feel trapped. On those days I think about no longer being here in this physical realm, and there is no emotion behind the thought. Just a nothingness, a void. I utilize all of my tools all of my rituals to help me rise from that dark place — meditation, baths, listening to my family’s laughter echoing thru the house, sitting in the sun, journaling, sitting with the ancestors at my altar, taking care of my plants, burning sage, drawing, smoking cannabis, creating art. And I feel lighter, stronger, energized. I keep going.
It’s taken me a really long time to understand this life cycle I find myself in, this dark place I have frequented in my mind since around the age of 6. It felt like a breakthrough. I now realize it’s the darkness of the womb. It’s the beginning of things, it’s the source, the root. It’s the birthplace of creation.
